2007

2008-07-15T16:01:00.001+08:00

www

2008-06-30T20:45:00.004+08:00

clara's back :)

all of a sudden i just got this urge to blog, lah.

so here i am back again after a long yearrrrr.

im flying to perth next week and then shanghai 2 days later.

im gona be flying round the whole wide world.

its not my thing if u ask.

i do not like serving people,

its not my passion

and i sure had enough of serving from my past experience.

of course, the best i get out of this job is the money and experience.

OH

and also fulfilling part of my kiddy days wish of wearing a 'sarong kebaya'.

good flight ahead, to me!

2007-09-07T15:50:00.000+08:00

i am helpless without you, i am distraught because
the love that lifts me has been taken away by you.
while my eyes are still open , while my heart no longer beats,
even til then i can still find the strength to reminisce you.
From you, i found the meaning of my life.
for memory you are the definition of pure love.

when something that is written for me is what's best for you,
ill take you as the sweetest memories in my life.
however it won't be easy for me to leave...

2007-09-03T01:09:00.001+08:00

ShopLah!

2007-08-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

whats gone, all memories.
whats now, my future.

ANYWAY, i know i havent been updating but life's pretty much the same.
only school in the new campus.
part-time piano teacher.
taking my driving license.
erm...really, nothing more.
or lets say, i just cant be bothered.

my boyfriend's still edmundmah, a year soon.
im still in singapore.
oh but im moving to tampines in 3mths.
my parents wants yaya gone by then.
id be sleeping on a different bed.
everything new-i dont like.

im looking towards my future, only that :)
i cant wait to know what it'll be like.
and who will still be there with me :)

oh yah, i also just got back from hongkong 2 weeks back.
not with my family, just friends and edmund.
so many pictures, but too lazy to upload anymore.

2007-07-05T14:20:00.000+08:00

2007-06-23T15:55:00.000+08:00

what i did on edmund yesterday.

it all started cause i wanted to try out some pen.
he said 'dont write so much ah later cannot come out'.
then it continued from just two words to the whole palm cause he loved the feeling.
'somemore somemore!fill up every space, my fingers also!!!!damn high sia'
he fell asleep while i did his 'palm drawing'.
and woke up only to say, 'the other hand also.'

-------

ive the biggest bruise on my leg, ive never seen before.
big bruise equals to no shorts no anything that would expose my ugly patch
for a few months.

you know,
please just go rot in the lowest of hell
you.

so anyway, heres something always to smile about :)

yaya dosent run, she gallops.
yaya hops and she pounce
yaya does almost everything like a cat
and everything else but not of her own.

oh,
ill be moving over to tampines in 3-4months
and not quite looking forward anymore.

-------

and there you will be, too.

2007-06-20T19:15:00.000+08:00

crystal's birthday at harrys

2007-06-03T17:26:00.000+08:00

ive been losing many things lately.
my tiff and co bracelet
then my all time fav 'buddah beads'.
NO MORE.i dont see it anywhere!
i can always get another bracelet but where my buddah beads!

anyway, yest was my mums bday and so was crystals.
so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU ALL.
have never said but crystal's the cutest friend
she does things like,
*swings her hair* as the *wind blows* and says,
'ah..im so sexy'.
ive said this many times to ed and it still makes me smile, just the thought of it.

2007-06-02T14:55:00.000+08:00

'packard bell' and 'lenova' at the PC show.

my partner madeline

verara

i need some tan to look healthy like vera

these are the few from my new camera which totally sucked
im taking my old camera back.

2007-05-23T01:10:00.000+08:00

telemarketing's my job now.
id die if its a perm job
but id say its alot better then doing the gucci.
i just need money to get by my 3mthsholiday a lil better and to occupy the days productively
yes?and maybe have a short get-away from sin jia por.
like to genting or cheapo places cause my pay's pathetic!
say...$6 and hr, 6hrs a day, 5 days a week.

yea money's an issue.

edmund wants to adopt a dog after seeing how much joy yaya gives me.RIGHT?
so fun!!!!!
id love to get another dog :(
its so sad my mums so particular about cleaniness.
i cant wait to live ALONE with yaya, we'd be so much happier.

2007-05-16T01:14:00.000+08:00

i love you more each day :)

2007-05-13T15:06:00.000+08:00

dinner at pepper lunch with mum jon uncle aunts and cousins.
swensens at chinatown point plus edmund later.
then prawning at bishan with jon ed jasper
i think i like prawning.
i want to go again :)

yaya after her bath.

how he drives

chinatown point- cousins

edmund's doing the eye thing my little cousin does all the time.

my very young camera's spoilt.

WHY did it have to rain today, of all days.
we were going to take yaya to the beach :(

2007-05-12T13:11:00.000+08:00

lunch at geylang yest
my 3.90 belt
sex shop
ryans place
beehoon
meli and i talk

hunhun
newton

prawning at bishan
amk macs
the zen angie

he was sleeping and i was awake, so these pictures were obviously part of my 'self entertainment', and 'joy' when he realised i was taking pics of him.

2007-05-04T02:16:00.000+08:00

eepei's birthday at aloha.
its been so long since i last went to there.
and the last was FS1A's class chalet say, a year back?i think more.

oh!my dearest passed his TP.first attempt ok, am so proud of you :)
i want to get a licence soon too!

haya, i need to find work by end of next week.
just so lazy and no motivation.

2007-04-27T07:06:00.000+08:00

ji ko peh alert around tampines area!
he looks down peoples' cleavage and under peoples' skirts OPENLY.
no shame.
so innocent looking but so sick in the head i swear.

ANYWAY!im not feeling well thats why im up so early :)
clara's unwell!

------------

'hypocritical'.
its scary how your that way, sometimes.

no need to tell.
just keep a distance, id say.

because im happy with or without you.

---------

i need sleep now!

2007-04-26T16:19:00.000+08:00

yesterday, hun brought me for dinner at merchant hotel.
i still like the fish cake best :)

then to fashion bar for drinks.
well served id say.
edmund loves the attention, lah.
he needs to live a high life or he'd die.

do you know, that he's-almost-gay?
its so bad his colleagues does not believe he has a girlfriend
and they place bets to see if he shaves his legs -.-
he does not, for your info.

------------------------

the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell
tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song
the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that I don't want to forget about
tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you
you will always be inside my heart
you will always have your own place

------------------

sam time tomorrow :)
i love sami time.

-------------------

2007-04-25T15:06:00.000+08:00

so, today's my second day of holiday since second year ended.
i take my holiday time to learn new piano pieces :)
i am happy, edmund's happy.

a few more to 7mths, and we say
its been like 7years.

yea la, ive never said anything nice or sweet like how much 'i love him' blabla,
but theres no doubt that i do love him
and i will not leave anyone for him :)
he's been the best, really.

who will come straight after a tiring day at work from tampines just to help you carry your stuffs at school and send you home, back to simei.
who will come after work almost everyday just to see you and buy 'old chang kee' because he knows you like it and you might be hungry.
who will come after work, pick you up and send you for piano lessons, then wait till its over and send you back home.
who will clean your shoes for you.
who will go through so much just to get you what you want.
who will send you home everyday, walk the dog with you because he wants more time with you.

its hard to say id be okay without him.

I LOVE YOU edmundmahshiyi :)

2007-04-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

"1st to 3rd, all the same."

2007-04-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

i did not leave my past to turn back again

2007-04-13T00:17:00.000+08:00

i love the song, the lyrics and everything about it.
its been for so many years.

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering

How it could be now or neither been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye

2007-04-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

2007-04-10T00:34:00.000+08:00

so here's the most random
:)
nothing beats having sam as a bestfriend and my one and only.

i know i cant always count on others,
and i know some are never true.
but i know and am positive that sam will always be true and there untill death do us part :)
hey hey, really death do us part, okay.

i suddenly feel so blessed to have sammi in MY LIFE.
so many just come and go :)
but SHE will FOREVER be a PART OF ME.
it dosent matter if i have others, but i need YOU :)
shes been there all my life and she will stay forever.

we grew and grew together

1995

1998

2003

2004

2006

2007-04-09T00:10:00.000+08:00

singtel

it was like a parade.
awkward with the drums at first, (think drums in town.)
but so fun after :)
more fun + moneh to come

hun came to pick me after
(yea yea so sweet)
then to swensens with the family for dinner
a 'so-called' celebration for hun cause he found a job
(yea yea)

love love me!
dum-- da da di da de
dum-- da da di da dee
doop doop
love love me!

2007-04-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

2007-04-04T11:40:00.000+08:00

i thought i forgot my password.
its just blogger having the greatest problem.

--------

----------

i am not trying to embarass my bf
but for my birthday,
he went for a class to learn how to do that for me
and he was the only guy :)
he is not gay, he is just the better bf.

my mother thinks he does better 'art' then i do.

there were many that came with it at 12.10am, but this-the-best.
no, i didnt cry nor did i tear cause he apparently is-not a good 'surpriser'.
he wanted to surprise me but i ended up opening the door even before he could tell me that he's outside
and he told me he went for a class to do me something after we drank one day.

i cried though, when vera and eepei walked towards me with a lighted cake and a stalk of rose.
i went boohoohoo, okay.
and all the aunties in the foodcourt went 'aiyo gan dong ah gan dong'.
in english,'aiyo so touching ah so touching'.

eastcoast later on was just as good to remember my 19th birthday :)

2007-03-08T15:42:00.000+08:00

whats past has to past.
whats gone shall not return.
i remember, but i will not want.
i have whats now and i will do to keep.

i cannot bring back whats lost
and will never regret whats gone.

-------

im having sweets for lunch.
my favourite fizzy fish and fizzy pig head bought by the mah.
im going to lose my high metabolism rate soon.
IT IS POSSIBLE says the magazine.
i am going to 'balloon' at the rate im going ok, says vera.
but i cant help that i like to eat and im always forever craving for something.
especially in the night :)
see clara balloon soon.

peter pan's mungkin nanti-
"when the guy returns and tells the girl never to talk about the past again."
:)

2007-03-03T13:49:00.000+08:00

to st james, mos then fashion bar.
people around that area should be long gone 4am after.
because crazy people starts becoming crazier.
yesterday, was such a day.

its painful to see blood,
even more when a friend bleeds.
dont talk about my own bf being the one.

----

school starts on monday and im dreading just like always.
this semester seems 'school-less'.
im so lazy to the extend i use my past semesters work for the current,
till theres nothing to do.
timetable's being changed so frequent 'like we havent got our own to do', so i end up missing school till theres only school once a week.
and when i do attend school,
im never early.
no wonder teachers get sick they chase us out so often.
school's becoming SICKENING.

ah, two more months.
say two more months!!

------

i love my hun :)

2007-02-25T18:03:00.000+08:00

5 months
and more to come?

2007-02-21T02:26:00.000+08:00

honestly, im so afraid of my past returning.
i dont know whats going to happen
i dont know what im going to do
i dont know many things.

its been 2 years and that day is finally nearing like crazy.
i cannot take how each day passes like hours becomes minutes.
its not that i cannot forget but its been so long.
really, all that.

--------

sometimes i cannot take his past
i cannot take his past and i cannot take my own past coming back.
all this irritates me to my roots i just want to run away.
its getting to me i dont know what im going to do.
i dont know what to do but im not standing here.

why isit my days changes.
and sometimes so drastically.

2007-02-17T15:00:00.000+08:00

nothing felt the longest.
never thought it'd be here when im gone
those last words never to say again.
some words i still long to say.

after all this while i never thought id be here,
never thought we'd be here.
but ive learnt,
and i will always remember.
i watched helpless as he turned around to leave.
a part of me died when i let you go.

be it young or naive.

2007-02-16T15:59:00.000+08:00

A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

2007-02-15T17:29:00.000+08:00

ive never played the piano for anyone specially.
even my friends of many years.
even my own grandparents never heard me play!
i get VERY irritated whenever people ask me to play the piano for someone else.
i will scold you.

guess who's so special yesterday.
edmund mah.
he was quite a bugger anyway so i entertained him.
and he's also quite specially trained to sweet talk.
so yesterday he was special.

2007-02-15T02:47:00.000+08:00

thank you!
for the dinner in the cable car
the lilylilylily
the paper puma watch wrapped in the 'ugly wrapper'.

one week ago.
him-"hun!this watch nice?"(pointing at the valentine puma watch in the shop)
i-"er..no?i dont like it at all la.i never liked puma. i dont like it at all and i wont wear it.why?"
him-REALLY MEH?! (then giving the 'i got exactly that for you and i just realised you hate it' face, he walked away.)
i-oh my god....(pulling his arms) ACTUALLY its quite nice what!!!i will wear it!!!
him-whatever la dont bluff your not going to wear it.
i-really!!i will wear because its from you!!!but i will wear it only with certain outfits, la.haha
him-haya whatever la.

the paper watch and all the plannin on making me think thats my gift. just for a reaction he never got.he was hoping id not realise its a paper watch.ah?

"i would have never given you that watch because its not you and i dont even like it!"

alright, then thank you again
for the pretty well packaged box
the oh so nice heart
the sweetest words
the gucci watch
and your company :)

happy valentine everyone!

verara beady eyes loves you your not alone!
sarara your ralove loves you too we've been together forever and you'll never be alone :)

4feb at the zoo

he thinks he looks damn cool in that big shades and i dont.

i was so amused by them you should watch how they protect and care for their own ok.....

the heat
'primate'
piggy backs
baboons
butter chicken rice

suntec
fish head soup
:)

never forget,
ORD OHHHHHHHHH..........!!!!!!!

2007-02-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

yaya's turning a year on chinese new year!

2007-02-03T14:52:00.000+08:00

after so long, its now next month.

2007-01-24T02:41:00.000+08:00

once known my favourite 'fizzy fish' from marks and spencer, (especially the red ones outa the 3 three colors in the pack).
i receive a whole jar of only red fishes placed nicely filled to the very brim.
i would have taken 10mins to place each fish in the jar.
so nicely perfectly done :)

"this represents my love for you,
give it back to me whenever its empty id fill it up again cause my love for you will never end". the sweetest part of everything was it.

the effort put into placing those fishes in.
the many packets bought just to get the red fishes because they were my favourite.
the doing something he has never done before.
so original so fresh :)

2007-01-14T03:45:00.000+08:00

dinner at east coast with the family

night safari later on with my mah

much love!

2007-01-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

AND SO,
i just got back from work not long.
RAINING.

by the way,
i threw everything of my past yest.
anything and everything that had to do with 'him, him, or any other hims'.
from letters to pictures to basically EVERYTHING.
i had to walk a distance to the green bin outside melville instead of the one just downstairs my place so 'i won't be able to pick them back'.
its good anyway.one way or another.

i am happy

besides 'eeyore' and 'ramone', the rest were caught by the mah.
my room is packed and filled with much kiddy love.

oh, my mother disabled her ankle and is on cast now.
so grandmother popo lives with us for a month to help.
as ive said, you put the both of them together
you spell the word 'killer',
to everyones ear.

2007-01-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

he's been away for so long, he still has a place here and HE DESERVES A CHANCE.
just leave him alone.

2007-01-07T04:19:00.000+08:00

angie's birthday at 'Vienna International Seafood & Teppanyaki Buffet Restaurant'.

bakerzin's 'desire' cake-i do not like.

mount faber later was definitely good to be at-nothing like the 'usual singapore'.
2 lychee 1 sour green apple martini.
because, the lychee martini makes us smile :)

yaya's sleeping beside me :)
if she could work like a human id take her everywhere.
she is so cute she snoresssssss ok
and i can use her paw to repeatedly whack her own face she wouldnt mind.
thats how im so amused by her, she never gets irritated.

okay!im going to sleep.
and then comes night safari :)

2007-01-03T19:13:00.000+08:00

its finally 2007
how long.

all that was before?

ive 4more days to sch
to fashion management
to only one day off school.

yest i dreamt that i was imprisoned
i got imprisoned because i didnt wear my butterfly costume

i also dreamt i met the most hated and i said "you ugly slut" to her
hazel and ralove were also there to add on :)

i am happy beacause :
-ive such a wonderful mum
-ive the mah my whole family loves
-uncle mah calls me 'clara daughter'
-yaya allows me to disturb her without getting irritated
-its a new year, ive a chance to forget.

2006-12-21T02:21:00.000+08:00

Let me go home'
Cause Im just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like Im living someone elses life
Its like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me

i believe.

2006-12-20T22:46:00.000+08:00

i am finally done with work and all the guccis.
i felt so deprived for two tormenting weeks, you know.
the not getting to do what i want, when its the holidays.
haya.

next week's christmas
the dear friend's coming!
i see her once every year now.
i used to see her everyday, she used to be my life :)

i need the sun tomorrow
i am shocking white now and its sickly.

anyway.
im happy with life now, with all that im having :)

2006-12-07T15:18:00.000+08:00

im not at work cause ive got 'appt at the skin center'.

its not that work's not fun.
its the waking up part that i cannot do.

went to be with the the mah after work yesterday
and i got mangoes from father in law!
so cute la.

2007's nearing
jeevan's home
jayan's next
people returning.

i am happy to be with you
i am happy to love you
i am happy we've had this chance

just not very happy we've similar character
i expect something but dont get it cause he expects the same and i wont let him have it cause i expect it, kind?
so irritating.
say, i want to meet him but wont say it cause i want to know he wants to meet me too and expects him to ask me out
and when he wants to meet me he wont say it cause he wants to know that i want to meet him too and expects me to ask him out
SO, we end up not meeting cause i will think he dont want to meet and he will think the same cause nobody mention to meet.and we both suffer cause we both want to see e/o.
stupid, but thats just us.
thats why we are SPE CIIIII AL.

2006-12-06T00:50:00.000+08:00

i now work at gucci 6 times a week
not tiring
just VERY tiring talking to one person and three other heads talking like they dont know your talking to someone else.
SO STUPID.

very random,
but people always think when you step into gucci, we judge you and your ability to own something 'from gucci'.
no actually, we dont smile/greet not because we think your not up for 'gucci' but because it gets so sickening greeting customers over and over and not getting the slightest respond till we just not bother to avoid feeling like a fool.and smiling for hours can be very painful.

customers who irks me
-those who gets all 'slangy' acting like they have got class but obviously fail to.
-those who wants a new piece for trying when theres the display.

other then that i think i do enjoy working at gucci :)
everyones so sweet and helpful
clara like :)

2006-11-28T00:11:00.000+08:00

the past recalls

2006-11-26T15:03:00.000+08:00

its so good to be home!!!!!and its even better returning home with the cutest box filled with the sweetest fillings laid right in the middle on my bed.

how can i not say i love you.

pictures up soon :)

2006-11-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

i am so sick and tired.
WHAT AM I DOING.

its good to be away for 9 days.

2006-11-15T17:17:00.000+08:00

so everything between mirdat and i ended on a good note.
i dont see why anyone should stop befriending after break ups.

maybe for the mah and i, thats if we ever.
cause its JUST against him and I, claratan's not so desperate for people who dosent want to befriend me.
unlike SOME PEOPLE who has nothing better to do but to root into other peoples life.
you know how all the tagging and bitching starts when this ex or 'ex's friends' finds out about the current one.
OH MY GOD LAH.
hello?your like FIVE years closer to death then i am.
whoever.
try something more useful and effective, please.

NOW,
i just got nothing better to do thats why im doing this, okay.
hahahahahaha.
really really.
:)

id be away from the 17th to 25th anyway!!!!!
to china and hongkong.
far and awayyyyyyyyyy.

2006-11-14T02:36:00.000+08:00

-------------------------

--------------------------------

i miss.

2006-11-10T16:33:00.000+08:00

so, school's 1st semester has ended.
this semester wasent so good.
this semester was like a 'just get me by', thing.
ive got NO motivation no nothing.
i am having a course transfer
to fashion management.

haven been updating so heres some pictures left to do whats needed.

pictures last month
'gathering' at joshs place

family chalet at costa sands

vivo city

this month

bla

to be continued!too lazy to upload already.

2006-11-09T01:31:00.000+08:00

i cant forget

2006-10-21T12:46:00.000+08:00

i will always love you :)

pepper lunch
a 'need to shop at fareast soon'
gelare
cream bistro

indochine
the prestige

2006-10-17T20:34:00.000+08:00

2006-10-15T21:31:00.000+08:00

zens party

east coast

the mah trying to look like a retard

-----------------------------------

tiger beer
air base
10 of us

2006-10-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

one day at mos

someone says mos=mosque
its true?SO many malays.
:)
im tired of clubbing anyway.
but try hardrock on sat.
its different.
BUT,
company there's just as bad.
minus minus all that i think it'd be perfect.

ive been 'prison breaking' alot
i cannot help it.

2006-10-11T20:03:00.000+08:00

the little things you do to have me smile.

2006-10-05T20:34:00.000+08:00

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or neither been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

1617

2006-10-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

:)

tonight,
so unexpected.

2006-10-01T16:48:00.000+08:00

i have been coming home late and my mother's not happy about it.
'TELL ME HOW YOU WANT ME TO THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?'

rob b hood is a nice show anyway.
must watch!

yesterday:
airport
crystal jade

rob b hood

kew terrace
8 miles
eastcoast macs
hotcakes
6 in the morning
the ma.

my sam's back and sure did i miss her.
much.
she is a special part of my life, ok.

another month of school and its the end of 1st sem
time's passing SO quickly now.

4-5 more months.
2007
i know ive been looking forward
but how.
im scared, confused, and no i do not know.

i cannot remove things i have of you
i cannot stop getting reminded of the times we had together
i cannot forget your face
i cannot tell myself i dont anymore

i really wish i dont end up doing what i think i would.

2006-09-28T21:06:00.000+08:00

SO today,
we got chased out of class.

the nicest lecturer with the best patience chased us out of class.

no we didnt go past her limit.
she was just not having a good day.
she said it herself.

2006-09-28T17:09:00.000+08:00

my heart aches everytime i hear songs of you.

please tell me if id ever move on.

2006-09-27T20:46:00.000+08:00

i am in such a fucking bad mood
i dont usually use that but i am going to use a million today.
i will use a million 'fucks' because i am in SUCH a fucking bad fucking mood.

besides that i need to share.
clara's tired of going through every single thing you gota go through in a relationship.
i swear its SO bloody tiring im so tired of going into any relationships.
im so used to not having anyone and i wont be used to having someone now or next year or what so ever.cause im TIRED.

somebody kill me please.
my mother's driving me to my grave.
she thinks mirdat's out when he is so fucking still in prison.
so whats her fucking problem and stopping me from staying out all the time.
she has to bloody call EVERYTIME when im out and give me NO PEACE.
i feel like stabbing myself whenever she calls and ACCUSE me.
it irritates me SO SO fucking bad.

everythings wrong.
school's getting shitty.everyone's leaving.
my mother kills me with her nags EVERY SINGLE DAY since i got yaya and i seriously seriously wish i could snap her tongue.

WHATEVER OKAY.

--------------------------------------
yesterday was simpang with edmundma and dear friends plus dear ra.
went to joshua's again after.he has a cosy nice place to sit and talk.
its so sweet to see how bonded their friendship's like
i laugh at myself for having friends who bothers about their own purpose.
im not talking about all of course.

jacq and i at pacific cafe.

2006-09-17T13:26:00.000+08:00

the yaya.

2006-09-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

got 'yaya' today.
my new puppy!

its kinda big though.its size frightened my mother.
its going to grow alot bigger since its only 7mths :)

i love that husky mix thing.
and i can never get her name right.
husky,
lala,
bingo.
all i like to call.

i cannot wait to take her to sentosa :D
she loves the water!she fell asleep while i was bathing her.
shes so lazy just like panda she makes me laugh.
i swear!shes so lazy i had to drag her a million times and she still WONT get up.
its damn funny i tell you.

got dearest letter again today :)
i love him eversodearest and theres no doubt i miss him terribly.
every single day.
i cannot wait for him to return!
and i hope he likes yaya!

everyone's going 'OH MY GOD you got a dog?!what about mirdat?!!!'
since he's a muslim right.
ya man what about mirdat.
he's gona have to live with it if he loves me.
and i know he loves me.
HAHA.

anyway.
i was just wondering what a guy would do if his girlfriend went violent with him
so i asked my brother.
'what will you do if your girlfriend punched or kicked or pinched or slapped you?'(not the playing sort)
he opened his eyes damn big and went
'WAH I WILL SLLLAP HER OKAY'
(cause he knows his girlfriend will never do that)
its quite irritating how girls always think
'oh, he loves me and im a girl so he wont do anything to me.if he does that means he dosent care and i should leave him'.
and then we just hit them like they dont feel anything.
i really think they do feel like punching us too.

i used to like pinching and whacking mirdat though.(the play kind)
but it kinda shows no respect doing that in public.no?
i feel so sorry doing that to him :(
oh wells clara's gona be a lil more respectful next time.
i will be 'gentle and loving.'
ee yee.clara's so not gentle.
i might not look violent but my boyfriend knows.
i am SO not gentle.

okay!yaya time.

2006-09-15T19:31:00.000+08:00

2006-09-13T19:55:00.000+08:00

i miss you.

2006-09-12T00:54:00.000+08:00

ive been doing ALOT of searching on dogs online.

husky mix retriever!
im dying for that pups owners' reply.
reply reply halfway then never reply already.
what only.
i hope to see it tomorrow and yes!
bring it back home.

id love to own a cocker spaniel again.
husky labrador retriever sheepdog and for sure a baby of panda :)

BY THE WAY,
its so sad to say but im not used to my own boyfriend being a muslim.
why why the different religion.
ive got major issues in life, lah.
please teach clara how.

2006-09-11T00:29:00.000+08:00

small gathering at alexs place.

2006-09-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

so yesterday felt rather awkward?
hmm well, at least for awhile.
he looks nothing like the mirdat before so it was hard to see the 'mirdat i was once with' infront of me, kind?
its been SO long.
haha but he's still the same lah!
although it was awkward we could still talk like before and i like :)

the way he looked into my eyes yesterday felt so..hmm, deep.
our eyes never met the way it did yesterday
and ill never forget :)

i miss him even more after seeing him yesterday
BOO

anyway, todays the last day of school to a week of holiday next.
everythings OVER.
i killed myself yesterday to have my project dued today completed
and the lecturer was being bias.
i know mine's not perfect but dont give me the same grades as someone who has practically nothing at all?wtf ok.
and she said today 'clara, crystal and vera's going to be late confirm...and shariff too'.
like shut up right.
she wasent wrong but whats with the 'us' and not others who has the possibility of being late too.
i have zero interest in her, her teachings and everything.

lecturers after lecturers tells us that our class is the worst amoung all the other classes in our course.
why is it i heard it last year too.
is that how lecturers work.
'tell every class that their the worst.'
or am i just meant to always be in the 'worst' class.
it dosent bother anyway.

id have the chance to see mirdat in an open visit around december :D
whee i cannot wait.
hurry hurry hurry!

2006-09-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

id rather die then to feel the constant nervosity.
i am dying!!!
oh my god i feel worst then anything else.
why is it so hard to see my own boyfriend.
i feel so nervous i dont want to see him please.
i had thoughts of not going but its been so long i want to see him too!!!!
my heart feels like its going to drop
HOW
im going to see him in an hour and i cannot stop that me feeling nervous shit.

ANYWAY!
i received a letter from school going on about my bad attendance.

oh and yah.i didnt comb my hair today!hahahahah
sam said do not comb or brush when its wet cause your hair will fall.
and so i didnt!
my hair looked fine though.no one noticed anything so yups.
i think i will go on with the not combing of hair.

ok!i gotta get changed to see mirdat.
latelatelate

2006-08-29T23:35:00.001+08:00

i skipped class to go for
pepper lunch
shopping
starbucks
movie 'click'

i feel terribly guilty
SHHHH.
it feels like i havent been to school forever.

2006-08-28T17:39:00.000+08:00

its been a longgg time since sara and i spoke on the phone for hours :)

5 hours.

so nice sharing, so nice listening so nice having someone to listen.
i love youuu!

you appreciate how i appreciate you
i appreciate how you appreciate me
we appreciate eachother and theres no need to appreciate how others dont appreciate us.
:)

2006-08-27T19:11:00.000+08:00

decided not to head down to liquid on saturday since wednesday's not yet gone (if theres no wrong) and the thought of many people being there wasen't so fun.
liquids already so small its such a joke feeling the joy of cramping with bodies.
besides, theres no 5freedrinks to come on saturday.

i had a good day with mummy on saturday though
'the devil wears prada'
the shopping :)
the small talks and every love.
ive been spending most weekends with the family since mirdat left and i enjoy.
i cannot love anyone else more then i love them :)

and ive been back on tanning again :D
after HOW LONG.

10 more days to mirdat for awhile.
23 more weeks to mirdat for a long long while.
:)

<3

2006-08-24T00:11:00.000+08:00

PUREST
SINCERITY
earns.

2006-08-21T16:41:00.000+08:00

id be able to see him soon :)
early next month?face to face after HOW LONG.
i feel my heart dropping but oh wells!

and soon, id be able to hold on to him once more :)
that touch i lost for a long long time.
i love my mirdaty boy :D

and for the first,
my nails are hot pink
with a little black.

its so typical for girls to be into the color pink till it disgust me, sometimes.
EVERYTHING pink.
my goodness.
pink here, pink there, everywhere pink.
theres no need to show the world you like pink right.
especially baby pink.
eeye.
TOO sweet already?
ive nothing against pink.
but ive got something against someone pink everything.
dressed pink, clip pink, watch pink, nails pink, bag pink.
inside the bag-file pink, books wrapped pink, phone pink, wallet pink, pencil case pink.
EVERYTHING.
hello everybody, i like pink, my name is pink.
i want to vomit.

so anyways, sam stayed over the weekend
dvds after dvds
japanese after japanese.
its always nice to have her over.

ive decided to,
not go to school tomorrow.
so that makes it only one and a half day of school for this.
yay.

2006-08-20T21:23:00.001+08:00

i insisted he smiled showing his teeth.that stoner.

pictures on sat.

yesterday, clara shopped shopped shopped and shopping makes clara a happy girl.
i got many many things :D

hardrock cafed the night
'sex on the beach'
soccer match
newton circus
tiger prawns
hokkien mee
and a very satisfied night.

2006-08-19T12:39:00.000+08:00

dingdong, dongding :)

2006-08-17T19:08:00.000+08:00

put your hands together for thy greatest!
clara got 80 marks for both drawing project and apparently,
80's the 2nd highest score in class :D

pressure felt for nothing.
lalala.

i need to shop anyway.
and i want my old kc shorts back!
why did they change it to some 'cha pa lang', man.
now i got to find out where those bits are sold.
MAFAN.

so, it'll be 15mths tomorrow.
5/6 more months is so soon i dont know how to expect you back.
the getting used to what i lost for 2years?

2006-08-16T20:48:00.000+08:00

Pisces Traits

Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic
intensely loyal and home-loving

On the dark side....

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

paul twohill and i share the same zodiac.
smiles!!
for many reasons, paul makes me happy happy,
all the time when he's on tv.

go dearest mop swayer!

2006-08-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

theres this very pretty girl in the first year.
she gave me the 'im a pure les' vibe as she smiled.
or probably, i was just hoping she'd be one.

clara likes pretty girls, dont you know?

today's such a tiring day
plus the bus-ride which took forever made it worst.
went to chinatown after school together with crystal and vera
and oh my god okay?
this sick man was masturbating in the bus.
it was the sickest sight please.
and he was just 'beside behind' us.
and!he gave us the most digusting stare as he boarded off the bus.

sickshit.

2006-08-14T16:18:00.000+08:00

its very pressurizing being in the class im in.
there's no lazy anyone which makes me the laziest yes.
everyone does their work with high standard before time.
seriously?whats all your problem.
due date's many weeks later.
'spoil market' people are all IN MY CLASS.

i hope their doing this only because its the first few weeks of school and they yearn to have a place 'beyond excellent' under the lecturers.
cause seriously, id just die if this goes on for two years.
i know, lasalle has people who slacks.
cause, i enjoyed the company of my previous class.
why cant you people take things at a slower pace man.
dont give clara stress, CAN?

okay..maybe its just the 'girly thing' of not being lazy.
'girls are obedient, hardworking blablabla compared to guys'
so, my class has only two guys, gays.
and the rest are GIRLS.
pure hard working girls, okay?
minus clara and goodmates.

this is what id have as one in the previous class,
but i threw it away cause i realised its not up to standard in this class.

these, can at least earn me a place.

drawing is time consuming and even more time consuming in this class.

i dont need to be the best
im doing whats enough to put me as average in class so if i ever fall id not be the bottom.
comparing whats average in my previous class and now equals FAR.
i was never very keen in putting in much time in drawing and im not quite happy i got to spend much more time in drawing now.
time is not sufficient for everything else and i so dont need this.
i dont need such people in class -.-

2006-08-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

school's been great so far :)

i can sew!!!i can sewwwwww!!

received sillys letter today
he's my dearest and i cant help but to look forward to his coming back, everyday.
he still makes me happy despite the distance
and i love alot.

mikhail.
haha.

auntie's poh piah tomorrow!
and little aifang, i miss.

2006-08-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

fast and furious (tokyo drift)
and finally,
helen the baby fox.

early day tomorrow

so goodnight.

and claratan's sick of town
and usual clubs
and usual hangouts
i need to GO AROUND singapore soon.
and discover much better places.
town area cannot always be the case, no?
but i cannot deny the fact that im lazy to go about 'discovering',
and thinking of WHERE ELSE 'GOOD' TO GO besides town is sickening.
so yea, i think i should shut up and stick to my dullest life.

everybody
clara's pms-ing
clara cannot talk to anybody.
anybodehhhhh.

2006-08-05T17:56:00.000+08:00

Every where I turn
I find the scent of you,
It's all that I have left
At night to get me through.

I crawled under my covers
And there within my bed,
Is this warm aroma of you
That lingers in my head.

So I got up instead
And stood alone outside,
With my eyes closed I felt
Your arms about me as I cried.

I walked over to the swing
And settled down there,
But still I heard your voice
Whispering my despair.

I wandered back into the house
And stood at my bathroom sink,
Even then I smelled your scent
And the fragrance made me think

Everywhere I turn
I find of you a trace,
A smell, a scent, a thought
A tear upon my face

There's no escaping this love
For it fills my very heart,
Even when you're not here
We're never far apart.

In my mind I see your face
In my heart your voice,
Everywhere I turn
I'm loving you by choice.

Eventually I made it
Back into my bed,
The smell, the thought, the sound of you
Dancing in my head.

And as I drifted off to sleep
One thought came to mind,
I will love you forever
And always through all time.

nothing more precious then you.

2006-08-04T14:14:00.000+08:00

ok so im off school today.
very good cause clara's having terrible cramps.

just got woken up by brad pitt's call.
at least its much later this time.
he reminds me of someone in mirdat's family.
has a very cute head and a damn big body.

met him on wed together with his friends and lawlor.
got my donkeys letter thanks to him :)

and delifrance has the worst pasta ever.
sara and i had to die with it.
gerard seemed happy with his fish and chips so yeps.
its just the pastas, no?

botanical garden on monday.
very fun, what.

2006-08-02T01:12:00.000+08:00

i love the oc.
my hair is now chocolate brown.
my piano exam's over.
i love mirdat and it'll never change :)
see us together soon okay?
i love samanthalimshuxian.
she is forever mine and i thank her for everything.
her love care and concern always needed :)
shes my bestest friend.

goodnight
claratan's going to sleep without having nightmares about piano exams anymore.
thank you all who wished me well this morning anyway :)

and i just want to say, i love mummy. (ive never told her that)
without her there wont be much meaning in life.
she tells us 'its okay'.
she tells us 'i love you and mummy will always be there for you'.
she tells us 'i will do anything for you'.
she has never failed as our mother.
that we should know.
her love for us is enough to cover anybody elses.
we should return.

2006-07-31T16:00:00.000+08:00

its nice to hear from your mates.
but when is it going to be your turn.
claratan misses you.
hiak.

the sight of my piano's giving me the nervous ache, everywhere.

2006-07-30T17:12:00.000+08:00

i cannot tolerate people who types like that.

dear ii realliex llove ue a lot a lot andd ii dont wanna llose ue.
anywaiis ii noe iish maii faullt
ii never wannaa habb anotherr ddae llyddat aqaiin
ii will llurfe ue forebber
andd tinkk ob ue
ue will b iin maii hartt forebber.

yucks.
and currently, there are guys who does such too after the influence of their girlfriends.
its a major turn off, please.
can you all stop it?
its very irritating.

[that paragraph's ripped off and not by me]

2006-07-30T13:43:00.000+08:00

dxo last night
eastcoast after.

eastcoast in the night/early morning makes me want to miss, you.

2006-07-29T15:27:00.000+08:00

So often we are reluctant to forgive those who have angered, betrayed or hurt us, feeling that to do so in some way validates the offender's behavior.
But forgiveness is not about validation.
It is about release.
It is for giving us permission to let go of the pain.
It is for giving us our freedom back.
It is for giving us the ability to move on.

2006-07-26T01:02:00.000+08:00

my new class has pathetically 17 people.

but oh wells! first day of second year turned out quite fine.
i was happy to be at school :)

two hours of piano tomorrow then down town with the 'sisters'.
yes, lecturers in school thinks the 5 of us look like sisters.
because lah,
we are forever lovingly by eachother's side.
'till the death of lasalle do us part.'
talking about the 5 of us.
i miss jason.
come back to school you bloody taitai.
claratan wants you back.

2006-07-24T15:56:00.000+08:00

aku cinta sendiri

2006-07-24T14:22:00.000+08:00

if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me ?
How will I know if I let you go ?

Night after night
I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a a shame we're worlds apart

2006-07-23T19:21:00.000+08:00

i should stop trying anymore.

so school's starting next week :)
tues tues oh clara can't wait.
i can't wait for everything to start and soon, be over.
im quite looking forward to national day anyway, i don't know why.
:)

ill take your lead, everything you say.

quit being emo claratan.

2006-07-22T19:21:00.000+08:00

tears are feelings we cant say
tears mean that you care
tears are mixed emotions
tears are more than tears

the pouring rain
from my eyes
means too much
to keep inside

i cant say how i feel
so i cry

2006-07-20T19:35:00.000+08:00

ive been waiting and looking forward to the day six of us can have a day together.
sara, gerard, phy, leo, mirdat and i.
dont fall, anyone.
i enjoy all your company so lets stick :)

im seeing dearest on saturday
SMILES :)

ok, im going to sleep now.
i didnt have enough.

2006-07-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

mos last night

2006-07-17T18:03:00.000+08:00

only three days of school a week
:)